Thursday was sayonara to my car, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a little emotional about it. The actual sequence of events leading up to my final glimpse of the old Grand Am are actually kind of amusing, though, so that’s the story I’ve decided to relay to you.

When it became clear that my car had rolled its last foot under its own power, there weren’t a whole lot of options for what to do with the thing. I’d already had to sink some money into it to have it towed to a second repair shop and given its death examination, so I was ready to just be finished with the whole painful ordeal and to move forward. My parents helped me research places that could come pick up the car, and my dad ended up being the one to call the place that offered the most for my incredible unmoving automotive.

A junkyard in Clermont agreed to tow the car away for $400. They would have given me $450 if I delivered the car myself, but it would cost at least $50 to have it towed one more time, so I settled for the $400. It’s not much money, but given everything that’s wrong with the car now, I still felt like I was getting a decent deal. My dad secured the deal over the phone with the lady at the junkyard, and I agreed to meet her at the auto repair place for the wrecker to pick the car up.

We were supposed to meet there at 4pm, so I got there at about 3:50 and of course the tow truck arrived around 4:30-ish. Whatever, though. I was just glad to be getting this thing done. The truck driver was a young woman who gave the car a once over, looked at the title, and said she’d give me the $350 as soon as I finished filling out the transfer paperwork. Hold the phone. “We agreed on $400,” I said.

“No, we pay by weight. We don’t pay more than $350 for this weight,” she said.

I told her my dad was the one who spoke with the person on the phone, so I would call him and get this straightened out. I got him on the phone and passed it to the tow truck lady, who then asked my dad who he had talked to when he called. After he told her that she was the person he talked to (she has a very recognizable and distinctive accent), she denied that and said she did not actually work for the junkyard and is just a contract driver who picks up cars for them. I told her I was not letting her take the car for less than $400, and my dad confirmed for her that he had a second place willing to take the car for $400 if these folks fell through. She said she would call the junkyard to see if they could approve the $400.

It’s at that point that I’m pretty positive she pretended to punch up a number on her iPhone and mumbled incoherently into it. It took a grand total of maybe five seconds of her faking a phone call before the folks at the junkyard miraculously approved the $400 payment. “They never do this,” she assured me. “This is a one-time thing. I’m surprised they’re letting me give you $400, but it’s because the new girl said it was okay when she talked to your dad.” I nodded sympathetically and managed not to laugh when, miracle of miracles, it turned out that she had exactly $400 (one $50, seventeen $20, one $5, and five $1) in her pocket, clipped to a note with my name on it. I got my money, she hooked up my car to her truck, and we both went our merry ways.

The moral of this story: If you’re going to be a liar in your profession, make sure your improv and your props don’t give you away.

Assassins Creed Altair Action Figure 008 Assassins Creed Altair Action Figure 006 Assassins Creed Altair Action Figure 010 Walter as Heisenberg - Breaking Bad Action Figure Walter as Heisenberg - Breaking Bad Action Figure Walter as Heisenberg - Breaking Bad Action Figure Harley Quinn – Cover Girls of DC Statue Harley Quinn – Cover Girls of DC Statue Harley Quinn – Cover Girls of DC Statue Mystique - Marvel Comics Bishoujo Statue Mystique - Marvel Comics Bishoujo Statue Indigo-1 - Blackest Night Bust