ArtisticCriticalExpertise

Not long ago Celeste’s mom gifted pedometers to Celeste and me. I’ve been super busy and hadn’t had made the time to try it out yet, although I have been wanting to start walking and / or running. Dragon Con is just around the corner, and all year I’ve been telling myself I’d get my endurance into better shape before we went so that I could handle all the walking and physicality of the convention without getting tired out. Procrastination and general physical laziness (and Animal Crossing) kept me from doing anything about it, and it took the dumbest thing in the world to get me motivated.

This past weekend I saw several people posting links to the Secret Language site, which claims to be able to generalize traits about a person based solely on birthdays. It’s not astrology or horoscopes. They supposedly base their predictions on a 40-year study of lots of actual people and have drawn trends by when they were born. The whole thing still sounded iffy until I tried it out and got surprisingly convincing results for all the birthdates I put in for people I knew. I tried my own, and it told me stuff like that I should be good at being artistically critical and that I likely am a workaholic. Sure, these sort of are John Edward-style generalizations, but I have to admit they and the rest of the entry sound pretty accurate for me.

Then I got to the “Health” portion of my entry, which reads:

Unless June 4 people keep active, they can put on a lot of weight in middle age. Therefore, competitive sports are highly recommended not only for this reason but also to work off aggression. Heavy smoking and drinking are extremely debilitating and must be avoided at all costs. Over a lifetime, a nervous system can go through great changes and though June 4 people may have to calm down a bit in their youth they must later guard against becoming sedentary and complacent. As the years pass, the key for them is to maintain vitality while channeling and conserving their energy.

I recently turned 35. I really hope I’m not yet middle aged, but that’s definitely on the horizon. And I absolutely lead a sedentary life, working from home and being on the computer for the vast majority of every day. I’m not in terrible physical shape at this point, but I can see a time coming when my age and inactive lifestyle could gang up and conspire against me. In short, this stupid Secret Language thing kind of scared me into action.

Finally sufficiently motivated, I’ve decided to take up walking / jogging / running / crawling / whatever it takes to get me out of the house, around the neighborhood, and back. Of course I chose to do my first run in the middle of the afternoon yesterday, when the temperature was around 91 degrees. But hey, I like a challenge. I took the pedometer along with me, but I also tried out the Runtastic app on my phone. I decided to make all right turns from our driveway around the subdivision until it brought me back home. According to the stats, that ended up being 1.13 miles, and it took me 17 and a half minutes to cover it with a combination of jogging and walking. I’m proud of myself for getting out there and doing this, and I’m making this post to try and incentivize myself to stick with it.

RuntasticMap

I messed with my phone en route and screwed up the Runtastic thing, so the last portion of stats for the run got obliterated. But, ignoring the blarargghh straight line towards the end of the run, Runtastic gave me a handy map of where I went. No, I didn’t actually run through all those yards like a crazy person. I stayed on the sidewalk in the heat like a crazy person, and the route line is just a little shaky. But still, there you go. Evidence that I’ve started this thing. I’m hoping the threat of publicly shaming myself after posting this will keep me on target so that I can actually make some fitness progress and defy the bitter prophecy foretold by the oracles at Secret Language.

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